No Es Un Bueno Cumpleanos

My birthday...was not good. It didn't mean to go that route but, alas, it did. Sit back, relax, and listen to the story that was my 41st birthday celebration. It was the week before Alexis's 41st birthday and all was going smoothly. She had ordered all of her birthday gifts (Pantagonia fleece pullover, Lululemon leggings, Ugg throw blanket) and was preparing her self for an uneventful occasion when she woke up on September 17th and could not locate her fake front tooth (aka "the flipper.) She did not immediately panic. She assumed that she had put it down in a random location to be found later in the day. It was not until nightfall when the first tinge of anxiety began to settle in. "Oh well, there is always tomorrow" she said to herself as she drifted off to sleep. The next day she awoke in a complete an utter panic. Where was the flipper? Where could it have gone? Did the mice infestation that they had recently experienced drag her flipper into a tiny little mouse house and they are using it as a TV stand? She began tearing the house apart, inch by inch. Tony and the kids joined in along with employees and any friends and neighbors who happened to stop by. No one could find it. It was gone. After a nice good crying fit Alexis said "oh well, I only have to make it one more month without a front tooth and I can do it! I have to wear a mask in public anyway so no one will know!" Out of the corner of her eye she caught Tony gently raising his hand. "Yes, Tony? What is it?" Tony meekly replied "I kind of had something planned for your birthday and you are going to need a tooth for it. Or at least, you are going to want to have a tooth in for it." No. No. No. No. No!!!! "What did you have planned my love?" she asked. "Um, well, it is supposed to be a suprise so are you sure you don't want to just keep looking for the tooth and we can keep it that way?" he replied. Alexis began to gently weep. She knew that she had already looked everywhere and anywhere that it could possibly be. It was not going to be found. "Just tell me" she said in her stern mom voice. He took 3 steps back. "Paige and Ian and Jen and Justin are flying in for your birthday on Friday. I bought tickets for the tram and we are eating dinner at the restuarant at the top on Saturday night." This was the worst possible scenario next to booking a glamour shot photo shoot with everyone she knew for the weekend. She began to sob uncontrollably. This was going to be the death of all of her self respect and dignity. The next day Tony had great news. He had called their neighbor who is a dentist and he said he could make her a new flipper in 24 hours. Crisis averted! The party was on! All was well in Alexis's world. Friday, September 18th. This is where things start to really take a nosedive. All of the preparations had been made in anticipation of the arival of Alexis's besties. Paige and Ian had just landed and Tony was picking them up when Alexis called Tony's phone and when answered all she heard was Tony screaming and Paige's voice. After a few minutes of not being able to talk to anyone she hung up. A minute later her phone rang. It was Ian from Tony's phone. "Alexis, I want to start by saying that Tony is going to be OK. He tripped and fell and hurt his arm and knocked out his front teeth." Wait, what? "He is being transported in an ambulance to the ER and we will drive his truck to your house." WTF? Why? How? Why right now? I could not wrap my brain around it. When Paige and Ian got to the house they explained, "We were driving from the airport and Tony saw something in the road. So he pulled over to run out to see what it was and a car came around the corner screetching the tires so he started running to get out of the way and he tripped and fell and in order to protect his right shoulder (oh wait, did I mention that Tony JUST had shoulder surgery on September 9th and is in an arm sling?) he put out his left arm and it snapped and he ate concrete." Oh. My. God. After 14 hours with him in the ER and 2 attempts to reduce his left shoulder back into place they decided to admit him and take him into the OR the following morning. Alexis got a whopping 4 hours of sleep and had not eaten since noon the day before. She woke up groggy and wishing, just slightly, that she did not have house guests. After a pep talk from all of her nurse friends, she decided to go on a hike and have a glass of champagne. Then the hospital called and said that Tony was all set to come home. Well here goes nothing.

Tony was feeling no pain when he arrived home from the hospital. They had relocated his shoulder and the top pallet in his mouth and had put 4 braces along his top teeth to keep them in place until they needed to be yanked out. The shanangans ensued. Please note that Alexis still has not eaten and is on 4 hours of sleep.

After attempting to catch up with everyone else (from the night before) it was time to get ready for the big dinner. The 5 of them got ready while they waited for Tony's night nurse to arrive (AKA "the Meems") and then they posed for this old school prom picture.

They were off to the tram and to enjoy (somewhat, without Tony it just wouldn't be the same) a nice dinner at the top. As they were waiting in line, they snapped this COVID friendly group photo:

That would be the last photo that Alexis remembers. Actually, once dinner was over and they were waiting for the tram ride down was the last thing that Alexis does remember. She awoke Sunday morning feeling as though she had been overserved. She was blissfully unaware of just how overserved, malnutrisioned, and dehydrated she actually was. Everyone had an early morning departure and were on their way back to their normal lives. Alexis felt like she was having an out of body experience and was in charge of a patient who could, just barely, wipe his own butt. By early evening it was evident that this was a hangover like no other. Her "check liver light" had come on. She was having a medical emergency. For the next 24 hours (which coincidently was also her actual birthday) she could not hold anything down or in. She was dying. This was it. End of story. Plot twist: She lived!