Upper Case AJ Graduates Pre-K

Last Thursday our baby boy AJ graduated from Pre-K with a celebration at the school. It's hard to believe that the kid the teachers used to refer to as "the jock in the diaper" is now about to enter elementary school. It's also hard to believe that while he continues to get older I stay the same age...but that is a different blog post entirely.

True to form, AJ did not disappoint at the graduation ceremony. Tony had to work at the fire station so in order to attend the event he had to come with the fire truck and the 3 other guys on the truck. As they were standing in the back of the room listening to their walkie talkies for calls, AJ was called up to the microphone to receive his diploma and tell the crowd what he wanted to be when he grows up. Everyone (including myself) expected him to say a firefighter, especially with the special appearance by his dad and the other guys. Instead, he thought carefully, and said "a police!" which received lots of laughter from everyone. Sorry Tony.

When a little boy wearing a sailor cap stated that he wanted to be a "motorcycle rider" when he grew up AJ immediately shouted "that's not even a job!" While I was mortified that he said that, I was happy not to be the mother of AJ's best friend who told everyone he wanted to be a "Five Nights at Freddy's Serial Killer" when he grew up. It was quite a scene indeed.

I decided to pull out his preschool folder and look at some of the highlights of his last 3 years. I am sure you will agree...they broke the mold when AJ came around.

Dad, a Tree and a Deer. Dad is shooting the deer through the tree. Awesome AJ. Pure awesomeness.

I particularly like the look on Diesel's face and the fact that I am the only one frowning. #truth

His pregnant pre-k teacher I might add.

He remembered the ears...and added a neck goiter!

The E-Mail!

It is never a dull moment being your mom AJ. Thank you for all of the fantastic memories (and material for your wedding day!)

Choose Your Own Adventure

All it took was that trip to Ikea. I had no idea that my daughter would walk in an 8 year old horse lover...and out an 18 year old in love with Paris, France! It's times like these that you know even if there was a manual for parenting it would have to be a "choose your own adventure" kind. For example:

The day began like any other Saturday. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, your son and daughter are punching each other in the face. You really need to squeeze in a trip to Ikea while you are in California. Do you go? If yes, turn to page 15. If no, continue.

Page 15 - You are a brave one my dear! You know that this is probably the worst idea that you have had in a LONG time yet you still load the kids in the car and threaten their lives the entire way. YOU GO GIRL! Besides, you can always try your luck with the Ikea kids area and hope that every other mom in the Bay Area has not had the same idea. You arrive. The kids are still alive...and still punching each other in the face. But you don't care. Your at Ikea! You stroll up to the kids area and immediately the "attendant" eyes your 8 year old. "Stand up against this wall" she says. It is no use. She is too damn tall to be a kid at Ikea. Never mind that there are 12 year old Asian kids running and jumping and happily coloring within view of your amazon Caucasian daughter. They are below the line. Do you tell the "attendant" where to shove it and grab both your kids and leave? Turn to page 20. If you decide instead to leave your 5 year old to teach some 12 year olds how to take a punch and drag the 8 year old with you turn to page 30.

Page 30 - While the 8 year old knows how to keep up she also knows how to ASK FOR EVERYTHING. One minute you are enjoying coming across a completely necessary 99 cent reading light and the next she has managed to find the most expensive items in Ikea inspired by the Parisian bedroom on the 2nd floor. Before you know it you are saying things like "yes dear" and "we can totally redo your room this year" just to get her to SHUT THE HELL UP while you are trying to buy 50 things that will only ring up to $60. This will prove to be a fatal error on your part and you will pay dearly. If you pay now by buying her everything she wants turn to page 45. If you buy her nothing (except maybe a 99 cent reading light) and decide to pay later then turn to page 40.

Page 40 - Impressive. You resisted her relentless begging and reminders of "how good of a student" she is. But it is no use. She remembers every little word you said that day in Ikea as you were walking around intoxicated by the inexpensive items and the smell of Swedish meatballs. Within a month you will succumb to your fatal mistake and let her convince you that she "needs" this change. And so it is.

THE END

The Girl (At An Amazing Wedding in Austin, TX Last Weekend!!)

The Ikea Inspired Parisian Room

The moral to this story? It's either don't go to Ikea with your kids or don't go to Ikea in an area with a high Asian population. I am not sure which.