Camping at Country Jam

That sign, which was posted up at a campsite not too far from ours, pretty much sums up our family bonding experience at Country Jam this year! I had no idea that when I booked this country music filled camping trip for our kids that we were in for such a crazy fun party. It was exhausting and exhilarating all wrapped up into one!

The moment we arrived Wednesday night to the moment we left Monday morning, the party never stopped. From the blaring campsite speakers, to more variations of beer pong than I care to remember, it was truly an experience that I (and am I sure the kids) will never forget. After setting up camp we went to bed to the sounds of bad decisions and inappropriateness all around us. We woke up the next morning to blistering heat, no shade and neighbors! A quick drive around camp told us that we needed to remove our children from the camp area quickly...or else their entire innocence would be lost (if it isn't already just having us for parents.) We found a lake nearby that would provide us shade, water fun and refuge for the next 2 days. Thank God I could delay the talk about what a blow up doll was until at least next year!

Thursday we headed into the venue and were immediately stopped by a camera crew who was filming for the event. They loved our wood paneled wagon (and our highly attractive family..well they didn't say that but I know they were thinking it) and wanted to ask us some questions to be used on the big screen that night. I guarantee they regretted it the moment the cameras started rolling. First, AJ started sticking out his tongue and making zombie noises. Then they asked Cienna who she was most excited to see during the festival. She responded with an enthusiastic "Luke Bryan!" which would have been great if Luke Bryan was performing at the festival. After informing her of her blunder she stated that she meant to say Keith Urban so they decided to give her a second chance. Take two. "So, who are you most excited to see this weekend?" to which she replies "Luke Bryan!!" AGAIN. Needless to say they showed our cute little family on the screen but did not play any audio! We carried on with our heads held high and saw Parmalee and The Band Perry that night. Friday night we really enjoyed Frankie Ballard, Thompson Square and Keith Urban and we stayed right until the end. The kids also enjoyed themselves, made friends with other kids and returned to the campsite exhausted.

AJ would return to the campsite so tired in fact that Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights he fell asleep in the wagon, and we simply dragged him back to the tent and parked it right where his sleeping bag should have been.

Saturday we decided to change it up a bit from the lake. We headed into downtown Grand Junction and did some window shopping in air conditioned stores all day. It was just too damn hot to stick around camp or even see any of the performances during the day. Well that and I did not want to explain to them what that sign "boobs for shots" meant. We returned to find that one of our fellow campers had put a brand new bottle of Fireball in our cooler (apparently we became known as the Fireball couple after dark...sharing is caring!) and to see Kasey Musgraves, Billy Currington and Tim McGraw that evening. My favorite night of music at the festival!

Saturday night turned into Sunday morning very quickly. After 4 solid hours of sleep we were awoken to a 150 degree tent and a headache. MUST....FIND....REFUGE. We found it in an air conditioned movie theater where we took the kids to see "Inside Out" and may or may not have dozed off a few times. But there is no rest for the weary! We had to forge on in the name of country music fans everywhere! Even Cienna showed braveness in the face of adversity. One minute she projectile vomits in the campsite. The next she is wiping herself with a baby wipe and telling us she is ready to go see The Eli Young Band! We have taught you well young Jedi. After also catching the Randy Rodgers Band and Toby Keith we returned to camp, prepared for our departure the next day and got a good night sleep.

Aside from the heat, it was so much fun that we A) vowed to never return without a camper and a generator and B) renewed our campsite for next year! Call us crazy but WE WILL RETURN! Now hows that for your first tent camping experience Cienna and AJ?

Upper Case AJ Graduates Pre-K

Last Thursday our baby boy AJ graduated from Pre-K with a celebration at the school. It's hard to believe that the kid the teachers used to refer to as "the jock in the diaper" is now about to enter elementary school. It's also hard to believe that while he continues to get older I stay the same age...but that is a different blog post entirely.

True to form, AJ did not disappoint at the graduation ceremony. Tony had to work at the fire station so in order to attend the event he had to come with the fire truck and the 3 other guys on the truck. As they were standing in the back of the room listening to their walkie talkies for calls, AJ was called up to the microphone to receive his diploma and tell the crowd what he wanted to be when he grows up. Everyone (including myself) expected him to say a firefighter, especially with the special appearance by his dad and the other guys. Instead, he thought carefully, and said "a police!" which received lots of laughter from everyone. Sorry Tony.

When a little boy wearing a sailor cap stated that he wanted to be a "motorcycle rider" when he grew up AJ immediately shouted "that's not even a job!" While I was mortified that he said that, I was happy not to be the mother of AJ's best friend who told everyone he wanted to be a "Five Nights at Freddy's Serial Killer" when he grew up. It was quite a scene indeed.

I decided to pull out his preschool folder and look at some of the highlights of his last 3 years. I am sure you will agree...they broke the mold when AJ came around.

Dad, a Tree and a Deer. Dad is shooting the deer through the tree. Awesome AJ. Pure awesomeness.

I particularly like the look on Diesel's face and the fact that I am the only one frowning. #truth

His pregnant pre-k teacher I might add.

He remembered the ears...and added a neck goiter!

The E-Mail!

It is never a dull moment being your mom AJ. Thank you for all of the fantastic memories (and material for your wedding day!)

Choose Your Own Adventure

All it took was that trip to Ikea. I had no idea that my daughter would walk in an 8 year old horse lover...and out an 18 year old in love with Paris, France! It's times like these that you know even if there was a manual for parenting it would have to be a "choose your own adventure" kind. For example:

The day began like any other Saturday. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, your son and daughter are punching each other in the face. You really need to squeeze in a trip to Ikea while you are in California. Do you go? If yes, turn to page 15. If no, continue.

Page 15 - You are a brave one my dear! You know that this is probably the worst idea that you have had in a LONG time yet you still load the kids in the car and threaten their lives the entire way. YOU GO GIRL! Besides, you can always try your luck with the Ikea kids area and hope that every other mom in the Bay Area has not had the same idea. You arrive. The kids are still alive...and still punching each other in the face. But you don't care. Your at Ikea! You stroll up to the kids area and immediately the "attendant" eyes your 8 year old. "Stand up against this wall" she says. It is no use. She is too damn tall to be a kid at Ikea. Never mind that there are 12 year old Asian kids running and jumping and happily coloring within view of your amazon Caucasian daughter. They are below the line. Do you tell the "attendant" where to shove it and grab both your kids and leave? Turn to page 20. If you decide instead to leave your 5 year old to teach some 12 year olds how to take a punch and drag the 8 year old with you turn to page 30.

Page 30 - While the 8 year old knows how to keep up she also knows how to ASK FOR EVERYTHING. One minute you are enjoying coming across a completely necessary 99 cent reading light and the next she has managed to find the most expensive items in Ikea inspired by the Parisian bedroom on the 2nd floor. Before you know it you are saying things like "yes dear" and "we can totally redo your room this year" just to get her to SHUT THE HELL UP while you are trying to buy 50 things that will only ring up to $60. This will prove to be a fatal error on your part and you will pay dearly. If you pay now by buying her everything she wants turn to page 45. If you buy her nothing (except maybe a 99 cent reading light) and decide to pay later then turn to page 40.

Page 40 - Impressive. You resisted her relentless begging and reminders of "how good of a student" she is. But it is no use. She remembers every little word you said that day in Ikea as you were walking around intoxicated by the inexpensive items and the smell of Swedish meatballs. Within a month you will succumb to your fatal mistake and let her convince you that she "needs" this change. And so it is.

THE END

The Girl (At An Amazing Wedding in Austin, TX Last Weekend!!)

The Ikea Inspired Parisian Room

The moral to this story? It's either don't go to Ikea with your kids or don't go to Ikea in an area with a high Asian population. I am not sure which.

Coast to Coast

Spring Break 2015 was truly of epic proportions. As if having knee surgery in March didn't bring enough excitement into our home, we decided to take the kids out of school a week early and travel coast to coast!
Our trip began with Tony "encouraging" me to play up my knee pain in the airport by requesting a wheelchair. Even though I still required crutches, I was feeling well enough to crutch to the plane but Tony would not hear of it. I soon realized why. Not only do you get to breeze through security and get priority seating (i.e. leg room) on the plane, but you become a Sherpa on wheels for the rest of the people you are traveling with. At times I had bags piled so high on my lap that I literally could not see in front of me. I just sat back, prayed that he would not run me into anything, and enjoyed the ride.

All Spiffed Up With Somewhere To Go!

Our first stop was northern California to witness Tony's brother Chris marry his longtime girlfriend Wendy. I was honored to be asked to do a reading at the ceremony, and even more honored when I realized that I was the ONLY ONE doing a reading. Thank God I didn't know that ahead of time. As if I wasn't nervous enough already, Tony's great aunt Marion, a Catholic nun, took a moment literally right before the ceremony to read what I had chosen. I almost died. She chuckled and grunted and made some other noises that I am not totally familiar with followed by "your not really going to read that part about the children right?" and then handed it back to me. Had I not been already standing in front of all the guests I would have bolted right out the door and straight for the Clayton Club. In the end I had no choice but to white knuckle it, so I crutched my ass right up there and read the damn thing. I got about 1/2 way through it before I started to cry. I am pretty sure that I saw Aunt Marion roll her eyes at this point. But there was no turning back. After the ceremony I had several people (men and women I might add) that approached me to say that my reading had made them cry as well. Take that Sister Marion!

AJ And The Groom

We spent a few days catching up with friends and family in the Bay. We conducted ourselves as sort of glorified couch surfers, sleeping in places like in-laws quarters, air mattresses, and even an actual couch with a bath sheet as our blanket. We had an amazing time at Chris's waterfront property fishing with my mom and the kids. Cienna caught her 1st fish, my mom could have caught her a Delta man with a Porche if she tried and Tony and I caught a buzz. It was a good time had by all.

Sittin' By The Dock Of The Delta

I even got to see the Chupacabra of relatives...my little brother...on the trip. Even if it was for only 20 minutes it was nice to see him.

My "Little" Brother

After the all the fun in California we could hardly believe that our trip was just beginning! Philadelphia here we come! I once again put on a stellar performance at the airport and off we went to the opposite side of the country. We were greeted by the one and only Phyllis Lacca who chauffeured us to her Atlantic City penthouse on the water. Her 7 year old niece and nephew were visiting and hit it off great with the kids. Almost too great. Our kids lost all interest in hanging out with us at that point. "Aunt Phyllis" treated them to dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, Hard Rock and The Palm, got to swim in her indoor pool and ride the rides at the Steel Pier followed by M&Ms for breakfast and chocolate milk for a midnight snack. After the first day Cienna said "Mom? I want Phyllis to be my mom now. Dad can still be my dad but I want you to be my Aunt." While I could have been totally offended by that statement I got it. I wanted Phyllis to be my mom too!

Cienna in Aunt Phyllis's Louis Vuitton Heels

Steel Pier

Our Little Guidos and Guidettes: Gianna, Cienna, AJ and Benny

Fun With Dad Since Mom Couldn't Submerge Her Leg!

Next stop, NYC! It is hard to imagine how an 8 year old and a 5 year old will hold up in a bustling city like New York. There are so many people and cars and lights that I thought they might just find a corner and lie down. Let me just say that they adjusted well to big city life. They seemed to thrive in the chaos. Finally the chaotic life that Tony and I have afforded them all these years have finally paid off!

American Girl Shopping Spree

FAO Shwarz

We went to the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero, Bryant Park, Central Park, rode the subway and got a private tour of the Hard Rock in Times Square (thanks Phyllis!) where we got to go out to the marquis and take pictures high above the crowds. It was an amazing and unique experience!

Lady Liberty

Ground Zero

Central Park

Hard Rock

Tea Time at American Girl

By far the funniest memory I have of New York came when we went to go visit the Hells Angels Manhattan clubhouse. Tony's friend told him to go down, ask for so-and-so and well...it's all very hush hush. After taking Uber to the clubhouse we pulled up outside a door with flames on it, motorcycles parked in front and a rough looking bunch standing outside. Cienna flings open the door to the car and says in her loudest voice "Uhhh! This is the clubhouse? I thought they play tennis there! This place is scary!" and exits the car. It was beyond classic. My little country club snob has no time for the Hells Angels anymore!

Then

Now

After wrapping up NYC we headed to Philadelphia to get our education on. Or so I thought. Cienna and AJ were asked to spend the night at Gianna and Benny's house and without giving it two they ditched us like a hot potato. It was OK. Our hotel was amazing and we got to spend a night on the town without kids!
The next and final day of our trip we ran around Philly trying to see as much as possible before returning to home sweet home. We managed to see Independence Hall,the Liberty Bell (we cheated a little), Benjamin Franklin's grave and Betsy Ross's House.

Independence Hall

Liberty Bell

Ben Franklin Is Our Homeboy

Tell Em' Betsy!

It was an amazing trip from coast to coast. We took planes, trains, automobiles, buses and carriages. And some how we managed to get home in one piece! Spring Break 2015 was one for the ages!

Taos

Last weekend we spent the weekend in a luxury condo in Taos that we bid on at a local fundraising event. Before this weekend I had only been to Taos one other time and I must say...I was in no hurry to ever go back. After this weekend I am in love with Taos Ski Valley and can't wait to return next ski season (and actually ski!)

Our room at Eidelweiss Lodge faced out to the snowy river. After grabbing your skiis at the valet, you could ski down to the first chair lift. Absolutely priceless!

Room With A View

Although I was not able to ski, I heard that the kids had a great time tearing it up on the steepest mountain in New Mexico. I am proud of the little love bugs. Not just of their skiing abilities but also their selfies. Because let's face it. Sad is the person who can't take a good selfie these days.

Ski Bums

Pooped

I am hoping that next year they offer the same room at the fundraiser...and the same cheapskates show up to drink beer instead of bid on awesome weekend getaways...and my awesome knee is working!

Diary of a Wimpy Knee

December 27, 2014 - After a tragic accident, I (Alexis's knee) was reduced to no weight baring activities and a grossly unattractive navy blue leg brace. Navy blue is not my color. In fact, it makes me look downright sad.

January 21, 2015 - I met with the man who believes he can fix me. Better than before he said. I wanted to gouge his eyes out. I was GREAT before! 15 plus years of squatting while playing 1st and 3rd base. I was the master of the Stairmaster at the gym. Skiing, snowboarding, attempting to water ski....I was amazing. Now this "doctor" says that he will make me better. I should have cut him.

February 1, 2015 - Feeling great these days. Leg press at the gym, wall sits, helping to lift hauling job junk off of trucks just like before the epic fail on the slopes. Do I even need surgery?

February 6, 2015 - Ouch. Today, while attempting to lift a door that we were selling on Craigslist I don't know what happened. I just gave out. Flopped forward. It was the worst! Maybe I am not as great as I think I am. Maybe...I'm...A...Wimp??

March 2, 2015 - Today is the big day! Robo Knee here I come! Let's do this! Whoot whoot! Bring it on!

March 2, 2015 (Evening) - Holy f*ck. Need...Pain...Meds. God help me.

March 3, 2015 - I have decided to inspire others through sharing my journey of struggle and triumph. My life's goal is now to let people know that ACL surgery is not the end. It is the beginning. But bring pain medication on your journey. And find a babysitter for your kids. Because you will not survive unless you surrender to the pain. And have lots of shows to watch. Come...with me...to the dark side of ACL surgery recovery.

My First Post-Op Picture. Not To Shabby! That Thigh Is Looking Good! Compression Socks Might Become My New Wardrobe Staple! (Warning. That Is The Medication Talking)

Here I Am With My Trusty Companion Diesel. I Am Pretty Sure He Is Just Using My Pain As An Excuse To Get On The Bed. That Is Of No Consequence To Me. I Am Desperate For The Company. I Am All Out Of Real Housewives To Watch.

Today They Delivered Some Machine That Resembles A Torture Device Used In Those "Hostel" Films. Right Now I Would Kill To Be The Victim Of A Homicidal Maniac. I Am Starting To Think That Amputation Would Have Been Easier.

Breathing Room! Finally I Am Able To Start Working On My Tan!

Damn Hacking iCloud People! This Nude Photo Was Never Meant For Public Consumption!

Oh My God. I Look Like Hamburger Meat. I Will Never Go Out In Public Again. My Life Is Over!

Well Someone Must Have Liked That Nude Shot From Before. I Got A Flower Delivery Today! Maybe There Is Life After ACL Surgery!

After A Date With My Secret Admirer, I Decided To Get Back In The Saddle! Work Doesn't Stop Just Because I Think I Am Going To Die From Excruciating Pain! Here Is A Shot Of Me Being A BOSS!

Trying Out Some Halloween Looks. This One I Call "The Spiderman Boss Chick Supa Robo Knee." Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

Shhhh. I'm In My Zen Place. They Call This "Physical Therapy." I Am Not Sure What That Means Except They Covered Me In An Ice Pack And Turned The Lights Off. UH-MAZE-ZING! Highly Recommend You Find A Groupon For Something Like This STAT!

Here I Am In My Travel Gear. It's Basically Just A Glorified Ice Bucket. Not Impressed.

March 25, 2015 - I have traveled from the edge of despair and returned stronger than I was before. I am still not 100% but I understand that these things take time. My spiritual adviser is working with me to ensure that my "childs pose", "mountain" and "downward facing dog" will be better than ever as long as I resolve to doing more for others than for myself. Right now I cannot fathom doing anything for anyone but myself...but I am sure that eventually, after lots of squats and vitamin E oil and a regular massage schedule I will get my yoga back. I will rise above these obstacles and spread the word of ACL surgery to all who choose to listen. It can be done!

Best,
Ali's Knee